Don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger

Will You Be My Magnum Opus?

2007-09-01T07:56:00.000+08:00

Teacher's Day 2007. I've been in a reflective mood since I "commemorated" my 10th anniversary of being a teacher. Exactly what have I achieved since leaving the noble profession for the truly noble profession?

My mind turns to the movie "Mr. Holland's Opus" in which Richard Dreyfuss plays a composer who works as a high school teacher to support his family while writing his masterpiece. Despite spending 30 years at John F. Kennedy High School, Mr. Holland never succeeds in writing his magnum opus. When he retires, he wonders exactly what he has achieved with his life. At his farewell, past and present band members, including all the misfits and "difficult" students he taught, perform a musical tribute to him. That is when he realises that his greatest work was not his feeble attempts at composing music, but the many lives he has touched as a teacher.

With the raising of the retirement age, I could possibly have taught 25 years (presuming I don't run out of steam) by the time I too, like Mr. Holland, look back on my life and wonder what exactly I have achieved. But why wait that long? Thanks to Facebook, I have recently reconnected with students I have taught 10 years ago. Many have gone on to further their education, many have started their own families. Everyone has a successful career, including many who have entered the profession which I fled. Many will go on to surpass me, and all the other lecturers and tutors who taught them, in the ladder of success.

Every year, about 120 young people enter my sphere of influence. Every year, I hope to impact a dozen or so of them in a deeper way than that allowed by the superficiality of the typical teacher-pupil relationship. I am beginning to realise that the influence that a teacher has on his pupils goes beyond the classroom, beyond even the years of formal schooling. Technology such as Facebook has made it easier to keep in touch with students that have graduated a decade ago. It facilitates regular emails, the occasional lunch outing and the much rarer class reunion.

I hope that when my turn comes to retire, like Mr. Holland, I will be able to say to the students I have taught "You are my magnum opus".

Ten Good Years

2007-06-16T10:48:00.000+08:00

Today, 16 June 2007, marks my 10th anniversary at my present job. That's the longest I've ever been in a job.

As I look back at the last decade, will it be celebrated or mourned? Without a doubt I'd say "Celebrated!".

I remember the time when I dreaded waking up in the morning, dragging myself to meet demanding, ungrateful clients, unreasonable judges and less than noble members of the noble profession.

Today I rise with the dawn (having to send the kids to school may have a lot to do with this) and look forward to reaching the office. I find what I do very meaningful. I like the people I work with. And I end every day satisfied that I have put in a good day's work, yet eager to come back the next day and do it some more.

When I meet friends from my former circle, they all say I look happy. Life must be good. I fully agree.

What's my secret to enjoying what I do? I think there are several.

Do Something You Do Well

I had mixed feelings about practising law. I was happy to be able to help people in need; the abused wives who wanted out of their tortured marriages, the childless couples who wanted to adopt children, the hapless underdogs of society in trouble with the law. But I was never good at making it a commercial success. When the hours I spent with clients did not translate into money in the office account, I realised I was not cut out for a lifetime of private practice.

I applied for a position teaching law at a local polytechnic and was successful. In my second career, I continue to use my expertise, skills, knowledge and more importantly, my God given gifts, without worrying about monthly billing quotas to meet.

They say those who can, do; those who can't, teach. That's perfectly true in my case, and I'm not at all ashamed of it.

Find Meaning In What You Do

I love the fact that I'm dealing with people, especially young people. I may be naive but I happen to think that there are few things in the world as meaningful as moulding young lives. I know it sounds like a Ministry of Education recruitment ad, but I've found it to be true.

There is a lot of intrinsic satisfaction in not only imparting knowledge, but teaching them how to learn for themselves. Life's most important lessons are rarely learnt from text books, so in addition to conducting lectures, tutorials, test and projects, I resolved to be a positive role model for my students. Hopefully, in addition to imparting knowledge and skills, I might also be influencing attitudes, choices and (dare we hope?) lives.

There have been the occasional bad day or two, but the gratitude that (some) students show, usually after they graduate, more than makes up for them.

Make Your Colleagues Your Friends

Let's face it; you spend as many (if not more) of your waking hours with your colleagues as you do with your family. Whether or not you like them can make the difference between job heaven and job hell. I admit one doesn't have much of a choice when it comes to colleagues. But I believe that people (most people anyway) treat you the way you treat them.

Like mirrors, they reflect back to you the respect and the kindness you show to them. Similarly, if you step all over them, or stab them in the back, they will treat you like the scum you are.

I've been blessed to have great bosses and wonderful colleagues. But I also think that giving my bosses undivided loyalty and my colleagues an open hand of friendship has helped to make this job more enjoyable for me.

So, to use a cliche from days gone by, here's to "More Good Years".

Paved with Good Intentions

2007-06-12T20:48:00.000+08:00

I was early for an appointment on Monday morning this week, so I decided to look for a place to kill time where the parking was free. The Maxwell Road Food Centre was a logical choice (in case you're wondering, parking charges there only start at 8.30 a.m.) As I was sipping my tea, I saw a middle aged man walk slowly from table to table. He was wearing a Montagut lookalike knitted tee that seems to be the uniform of Singaporean Ah Peks. It quickly dawned on me that he was checking out the leftovers on the tables.

What struck me was not the fact that there was a needy person here in affluent Singapore who was looking for table scraps to eat. Rather, it was the dignified manner in which he was carrying himself even as he went through the demeaning act of scavenging for food scraps.

I sat there wondering if I should give him some money. But what if it embarrassed him? It seemed like he was trying his best not to appear to be begging. Perhaps I could buy some food and deliberately leave most of it unfinished and make sure that he sees me? As I tossed these ideas in my mind, he turned the corner and disappeared from sight.

Whatever little good I could have done for a fellow human being, I had failed to do it in time. The road to hell was indeed paved with good intentions.

The phone rang as I was typing up this blog entry. It was a friend of a friend of mine. His wife had died, and she had not left a will. What should he do? I explained about letters of administration, estate duty and told him what he needed to do. He was very grateful.

I was in the right place at the right time and had the tools to help a fellow human being in need. I'm glad this time I did not fail.

Testing Out A New Toy

2007-06-08T20:04:00.000+08:00

Nothing too thought provoking; just some pictures I took with my new toy, a Lumix FZ50, which I recently bought to beat the GST increase (excuses, excuses).

A colleague who's really serious about photography told me that the true test of a camera is bird photography, so off I went to Sungei Buloh bird sanctuary.

I didn't see that many birds though I did hear a few bird cries. Maybe the migratory birds couldn't get visas due to bird flu. I did get a shot of this dragonfly resting on a blade of water grass.

My bird photographer colleague tells me this is a zebra dove. It was actually quite a distance away but the 420mm zoom managed to pull it in. Notice the ID tag on its right foot.

I came across this monitor lizard crossing the footpath and managed to shoot off a few frames before it slithered into the underbrush. The camera is ready to shoot from power saver mode within 1 second, and the autofocus is quite fast even at 420mm.

A curious tortoise...

... and some sort of water fowl inhabit a pond near the refreshment kiosk.

The Leica lens has a 12X zooming range. The maximum aperture drops from F2.8 to F3.7 as you zoom. This is 35mm (1X zoom)...

... and this is 420mm (12X zoom). Cool!

All the pictures above were first cropped from the original 3648 X 2736 and then resized to 1024 X 768. I was using low compression JPG mode though the camera is capable of storing images in RAW. That resulted in file sizes of between 4 to 5 megs.

And what do I think about the camera? At S$890.00 inclusive of GST for a 10.1 megapixel camera with 12X Leica zoom, this fixed lens DSLR is worth every cent.

The Frailty of Life

2007-04-09T17:23:00.000+08:00

Just over a week ago, one of the young people I had taught passed away. She was only twenty-three. She had been a bright student, scoring several distinctions, including one for Family Law, which I was teaching at the time.

Edwina had been diagnosed with cancer over two years ago but she appeared to have beaten back the dreaded disease. Despite chemotherapy, she kept her studies at the university on track. She was in her final year when she succumbed.

At her wake, her parents were trying their best to put on a brave face. It must have been very hard for them; she was their only child. The few of us former teachers did our best to give words of comfort. She had been a wonderful student to teach. She had accomplished more in her short life than many of us. Wasn’t she a finalist in the Miss Singapore-Universe? That she was now in a better place, a place without tears, without pain. And that we would one day be reunited in heaven.

Back at the office, the mood was sombre. A colleague wondered why God only gave Edwina twenty-three years. Another wondered what would be said of her in her eulogy. We were all humbled, thoughtful. Death is a rude reminder of the frailty of life.

I knew I wanted to write about this in my blog, but this was one of the few occasions where words did not come easily to me.

In the past year, I’ve been present when two aunts breathed their last. I’ve actually seen the heartbeat monitors go flat twice. They were all well advanced in age, and had lived full lives. Though they literally died in my presence, their deaths did not have the same effect on me as Edwina’s.

The realisation of the inevitability of death is indeed a sobering thought. I’ve lived twice as long as Edwina (give or take a few months). Statistically, I still have several decades before my number is called, but we all know God doesn’t work that way. What have I been doing with the life God has given me?

Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. (Psalm 90:12)

I resolve therefore not to take life for granted. I will live life with a sense of urgency because life is finite, yet, I will take time to smell the roses. While I treasure the memories of days gone by, I have no time for regrets. I have but one life to life.

Dedicated to the memory of Edwina Tan, called home to glory on 31 March 2007

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. (2 Corinthians 1:3 & 4)

When Life Perplexes

2007-03-24T07:54:00.000+08:00

Life is often perplexing. Why are things so confusing? Why are people so complicated? It’s as if someone messed up the script and we actors have to figure out our respective lines. What do we do or say next?

You might have heard the poem “I Saw A Peacock” presented as a time filler on Channel News Asia:

I saw a peacock with a fiery tail
I saw a blazing comet drop down hail
I saw a cloud with ivy circled round
I saw a sturdy oak creep on the ground
I saw a pismire swallow up a whale
I saw a raging sea brim full of ale
I saw a Venice glass sixteen foot deep
I saw a well full of men’s tears that weep
I saw their eyes all in a flame of fire
I saw a house as big as the moon and higher
I saw the sun even in the midst of night
I saw the man who saw this wondrous sight

NB: A 'pismire' is an ant

The poem gripped me from the moment I first heard it. It was so weird, so profound. The poet must have been doing drugs big time, I thought, or was stoned drunk to have envisioned such sights in his mind. So I did some research. From Wikipedia, I discovered that this was an old poem by some anonymous writer. It was included in a compilation of poems called Westminster Drollery (1671). Now that’s old!

More importantly, I discovered that the poet had been playing mind games with the reader by simply phrasing his poem in an unusual manner, and by inverting each sentence. By rephrasing and rearranging the words, the poem would look like this:

I saw a peacock
I saw a blazing comet - with a fiery tail
I saw a cloud - drop down hail
I saw a sturdy oak - with ivy circled round
I saw a pismire - creep on the ground
I saw a raging sea - swallow up a whale
I saw a Venice glass - brim full of ale
I saw a well - sixteen foot deep
I saw their eyes - full of men’s tears that weep
I saw a house - all in a flame of fire
I saw the sun - as big as the moon and higher
I saw the man - even in the midst of night
who saw this wondrous sight

Now that made a lot more sense.

How did I make sense out of what was at first puzzling and confusing? Step one; I paused to think about it. I guess I could have simply accepted that the poem was weird and stopped there. After all, some things are beyond comprehension. But I didn’t. Curiosity would not let me rest until I unraveled the mystery.

But pondering the puzzle on my own was not enough. I didn’t see the pattern in the poem. Not until I moved to step two, which was to do some research. I did what most people in this day and age would do, I googled the poem on the internet. Then I came across the entry in Wikipedia and saw the poet’s trick with phrasing.

That was enough to solve the puzzle for me in this case, but had this not worked for me, I would have moved on to step three; ask the experts.

About a week after I saw the light about the poem, I realised that it (the process of unraveling the mystery of the poem) may be a metaphor for understanding life, puzzling as it is.

First, when faced with the many incomprehensible things that happen in our life, it helps to pause and ponder. A driver who’s lost can’t read a map while driving his car. He has to pull over, stop his car, check the map then continue driving. It’s the same with life. When we’re caught in problems too big to understand, we need to stop, take a step backwards, pause to think, take stock of the situation and put things in perspective before carrying on.

Secondly, if that was not enough, get more information. More information usually (but not always) helps to clarify matters. Like the game show contestant who lamely pleads, “Any clues?” information gives us clues to solving life’s perplexities. Where would you look for information? The internet is a quick and easy though not highly reliable source of information. Then there are books on every conceivable subject. Friends are also a source of advice (but remember to evaluate your friend’s advice before blindly following it).

Lastly, when life’s mysteries resist solution by the first two methods, bring in the big guns; the experts. Don’t hesitate to consult the professionals. When you have a fever, you see a doctor. Likewise, when you are disturbed by life’s circumstances, seek help from professionals such as school counsellors, psychologists, religious leaders etc. Sometimes, it really needs the trained eye of a detached professional to see your problem in proper perspective.

I don’t know what problems may be perplexing you right now, but may I humbly suggest trying the three steps described above. Whether it is your studies, your career, your relationships or something else, I hope you will pause to ponder, get reliable information and, if necessary, consult the experts.

Have a great life!

What I would say had I been asked to make a Commencement Speech

2007-03-17T00:22:00.000+08:00

As graduation season approaches, it is once again the time when eminent statesmen, renowned scientists or captains of industry are invited to impart some gems of wisdom to the eager young people, the proud results of the educational institution’s efforts. And whether the anxious graduands are collecting kindergarten certificates or PhD degrees (it makes no difference, they all fidget with their headgear), the esteemed Guest-of-Honour delivers a commencement speech befitting the solemn occasion.

Being no eminent statesman, renowned scientist or captain of industry, I will have less than an ice cube’s chance in hell of being invited to speak to the future leaders of society and to share some nuggets from my meagre accumulation of hard earned experience (if not actually wisdom). But thanks to the wonders of technology and the power of “user created content” a.k.a. blogging, I can actually have a lectern that, hopefully, reaches out to many and per chance, may influence a few in some small but meaningful way.

Here then, if I may be so presumptuous, is the commencement speech I would make to share a few precious lessons with anyone who might be soon be embarking on their journey into the world of work…

If you have been a diligent student, you would have acquired much knowledge, many skills and perhaps, some good attitudes. This is good. Knowledge, skills and attitudes are the hiking shoes, the backpack and the water bottle you need to bring with you as you journey through life’s long and sometimes winding road. But as any seasoned backpacker knows, even with the best equipment in the world, you take you chances if you travel without a good map, a reliable compass and bright torchlight.

In the months and years ahead, life may take you through brightly lit streets and clearly marked highways, or to obscure back roads and dark alleys. Refer often to your map (especially if you are of the male species for I have discovered that we have an inexplicable preference to “follow our gut feeling” rather than to refer to a map). When you come to crossroads in your life, check your bearing with your compass (ditto guys). And when twilight fades into a moonless night, use your torchlight unless you’d rather fall into the drain, or worse, step on some dog poo. No one will doubt your machismo if you use a torch, but take it from me, no one will stand next to you if you’ve got doggie doo on your shoes.

If you’ve read this far, please indulge me a little further…

Dispensing with the metaphors, what really am I trying to say? What is the map, the compass and the torchlight allegorised above? You will probably have your own interpretations, and you probably won’t be wrong, but this is my two cents worth of wisdom. The map represents your friends, the compass your family and the torchlight, your faith.

Your friends

Look well at the faces to your left and right as you sit in the austere auditorium the day you graduate. These are your friends. Some of them, good friends, ‘besties’ even, others, just mere acquaintances. Your friends, at least the close ones, will journey with you quite a lot of the way as you travel through life. Some of them will be in the next chair as you get your army regulation haircut, when you run the obstacle course in full battle order. And when had more to drink than you should, they’re the ones who see you safely home after you’ve puked your dinner on their laps. They are the ones with whom you share your silly secrets and latest crushes, and more importantly, they will giggle along with you and not at you. When you’re walking down the aisle in your wedding gown, they’ll be holding the train to ensure that you don’t end up on Singapore’s equivalent of AFV (when they decide to make it).

Treasure your friends. Be as much a friend to them as you expect them to be to you. Friendship is a two-way street. You’ve heard it said, ad nauseam, that in friendship, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Share with them your social and your business contacts. What is networking but the principle of friendship in action? But remember; never betray a friend’s trust. A secret shared with you must remain secret, and there can’t be many crimes greater than cutting in on a friend’s business deal or girlfriend / boyfriend.

Feeling lost? Not sure what to do? Should you take that job? To borrow a line from the game show; call a friend.

Your family

You chose all your friends (and hopefully, you were wise in your choice of friends). But when it comes to family, you don’t exactly have much of a choice (though you can choose your spouse and your in-laws).

In the Asian society that ours is, it is quite inconceivable that we should not be in close contact with members of our family. Whether it is our parents, our siblings or more distant relations, or later in life, our spouse and children, we live in a social unit that is the family.

Before you attained legal majority, your parents, to varying degrees, guided and influenced you. There is no reason why this should cease simply because your birth certificate is more than 21 years old. The brother who competed with you for toys and for the affections of the girl next door can also be your best friend, just as the sister who read your SMSes and tattled to mum about your latest boyfriend.

And after you say your marriage vows, buy a nice home and have your kids, you need to be more mindful than ever that you have a family with all its attendant responsibilities.

The Asian concept of family honour or “face” compels you never to bring shame upon your parents, upon the family name. That is why you worked your butt off in school getting good grades, and that is why when the opportunity to commit CBT arises, you will banish the thought.

When the smooth talking guy or sexy girl you met at a party is sending signals of the Desperate Housewife kind, think of the faces of your spouse and kids before you let hormones (or alcohol) get the better of your senses. Remember (and here comes another cliché); a moment of passion, a lifetime of regret.

Your faith

Last, and certainly not least, in this morally monochromatic world we live in, where we’re told nothing is really wrong, where doing what is expedient is more important than doing what is right, you need at all times to keep a firm grip on your faith. Whatever faith you subscribe to, that certainly is better than being an amoral, conscience-less mass of living tissue, a brute beast.

In an age when it is unfashionable to profess to any organised religion, dare to be different. Embrace your chosen faith wholeheartedly. Are there beliefs to be upheld? Duties to be performed? Pilgrimages to be made? Fasts to be kept? Festivals to celebrated? Do everything so that if not before God, at least before man, you may have a clear conscience.

Have a great life!

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I would say in my Commencement Speech, if ever I was asked to make one.